I was in a fine mood that evening, when I followed the scent of roasted meat to the cheldzan, the only building large enough for both clans to congregate⊠and even then, a handful of people had spilled from its entrance onto the road, where a second stewpot was sending delectable scents toward the lavender sky. I stopped beside it to receive a bowl and a flatbread scoop and wandered among the Jokka, listening to various conversations. A good half of the people there were eperu, which surprised me; somehow I thought of the third sex as the least populous. If I asked Winoña, would I discover that sheâd counted all the sexes in the clans sheâd met? I smiled.
The Jokka of Clan Edla recognized me, and wanted to talkâabout injuries and sickness, yes, but also about recoveries and birthsâso the sky had set out stars before I finally made my way to the back of the cheldzan, where I found Daridil, Seper, and Koish in consultation. The lore-knower of Clan Edla, a spindly eperu named Dlona, made up the fourth in their discussion, and Winoña was listening behind the counter, wiping bowls.
âWe are blessed here,â Daridil said. âGame is plentiful⊠the forest gives both fish and beasts, and water is for the taking. I once questioned the wisdom of staying, but the gods have made their will clear.â
âThereâs enough for your clan,â Koish allowed. âI fear what would happen if we overburdened the area. The stories say that when we linger, we use up the sap of the land.â
âThat wonât happen here,â Seper said. âWe will be good stewards.â
âDo you even know what that will entail?â Koish said. âIf you have too many mouths to feedâŠ.â
âThen, we find another way,â Daridil said.
âProbably by selling our excess members to clans who are failing,â Seper said briskly. âYou know as well as we do, ke Koish, that many clans are hurting for labor and breeders. Particularly breeders. The nomadic ways are hard on us.â
Behind Koish, Dlona murmured, âKe Seper has this right.â
Joining them, I said, âAre you trying to talk them into staying?â I smiled at Koish. âYou know they have to make their argument.â
âTheyâre eloquent,â Koish said. âAnd if it were up to the clan, Iâd probably have to move into that empty building tomorrow. But I have to do whatâs right for them, whether itâs popular or not. And Iâm not convinced. Although, Iâve heard something about a shrine?â
Daridilâs ears pricked. âYes. To honor the gods and thank them for the gift of this place.â
âYou canât buy the favor of the gods,â Dlona said.
âOf course not,â Daridil said. âOne honors the gods, one does not bribe them.â
âI like the idea.â Koish leaned over the counter and plunked his clay cup on it. âGive me a refill, ke anadi, and then Daridil and I will go talk. About fate and food, among other things.â
Winoña chuckled and filled the cup from a leather bag. âAnd so much useful discussion will be had after your⊠third, I believe? Cup of this?â
Koish snorted. âI brew my own spirits, ke Winoña. Your mild-tempered spirits will have to work harder to cloud my thoughts.â Raising his new serving, he gestured toward the door. âDaridil?â
âWith you, ke emodo.â
Dlona watched them go with a long face, ears twitched backward. Then it sighed. âDo you have a spare cup, ke anadi? I think I may need it.â
âTrouble?â I asked.
The eperu eyed me, dour. âEverything under the sun and stars is trouble. Itâs just a matter of how it arrives.â
Seper chuckled. âIâll enjoy having you among us for the haul, Dlona.â
I looked from one to the other and canted my head. âIt didnât sound like Koish had made a decision.â
âKoish will make the right choice for the breeders, as he should,â Dlona said. âAnd the right choice is finding out if they do better here than abroad. And we know how they do abroad, so all thatâs left is to discover how they do in one place. But I wonât take our wagon apart. In the case that we might need it.â
âI wouldnât suggest anything else,â Seper said. âLet me take you to the new eperu. Youâll want to meet them. Then we can discuss the buildings, and our plans for the granary.â
Dlonaâs eyes sharpened. âA granary, is it? Is that what the bricks are for?â
âYes,â Seper said.
The other eperu grinned, showing blunted teeth. âIs it round?â
Seper laughed. âYes, like in the stories. As you could probably tell me.â It canted its head. âYou can tell me, canât you? Nudet lost its lore-knower before it could pass on all that it knew to meâŠ.â
âWe should write those things down from now on,â Winoña interrupted, earning stares from all of us. âWe can,â she said. âWe donât need to be limited to tallies on knots, which makes sense for roving clans that canât store anything permanently. We have space here to keep records. We should keep records.â
âOn what, though?â Dlona asked, frowning⊠but not objecting. Thinking, from its expression.
âLeaves?â Seper said. âBark, maybe?â
âThe stories speak of clay tabletsâŠ.â Dlona plucked at its braided arm ruffs, as if counting knots on a tally blanket. "They also speak of paper, but not how it was made.â
âClay we have in plenty,â Seper said.
âWe should make clay tablets, then,â Winoña said. âSo that what happened to Nudet doesnât happen again.â
Seperâs grin had a challenging air. âAnd will you have us carve you out a new cavern to keep these clay tablets in?â
âWhy not?â Her chin rose. âI already have to keep records to run a cheldzan and a storeroom. Or havenât you noticed me using paint on the walls for it?â
âI havenât,â I said, startled.
Seper chuckled. âHave her show you, Kediil. Dlona, if you like? Weâll make the way easy for ke Koish.â
âBy all means, introduce me. Youâve hired some new eperu since Clan Edla came through last.â
They departed, leaving me with a spinning head. âThat is what it looks like, isnât it? Koish doesnât think heâs made a decision, but he has.â I thought of his concerns. âOr maybe heâs just saying what we want to hear?â
âI doubt it.â
Did he even know heâd changed his mind? I rubbed my brow. âDo things always happen that quickly?â
âWhen they do,â Winoña said, âitâs usually because the conditions favorable to those changes were already developing, unseen.â She threaded her fingers together and rested her chin on them, smiling up at me. âYou have that look again, like Iâve said something you didnât expect and you admire me for it.â
âAnd if I said⊠yes⊠would you be disappointed?â
She giggled. âNo! I want you to look at me like that all the time! Come here behind the counter, Iâll teach you to serve drinks.â
âIs that hard?â
âNo, which means weâll have plenty of time to enjoy one anotherâs company.â She glanced past me at the people crowding her hall. âLook at them, Kediil. How often have you seen so many Jokka in one place?â
âRarely,â I said. âItâs noisy and hot.â
âBut alive,â she said. âItâs so good to see so much life in one place.â
Iâd expected her to laugh. But this comment, stated with such fervor, made me look again, and see, for just a moment, through her eyes. The eyes that counted and saw fewer people too often. The eyes that looked now and saw vitality and promise and hope of some different, better future.
I longed for the wind on my cheeks and the horizon before my eyes. But how much of that longing had been shaped by my desire to escape the captivity designed for me by fate, or the gods, or my family⊠all of them?
I stepped behind the counter and bumped her hip until she moved over. âTeach me how to pour things.â
âIs this an excuse to let me teach you something you already know?â
âYes?â
She laughed. âWell, if you love the sound of my voice that muchâŠ.â
Â
***
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I did not have to seek out Koish; he found me behind the Nudet building, settling my rikka for the night. I straightened, tucking my loosened hair back behind my shoulders, and waited.
âDerraâs caught a child.â
He didnât need to say anything else. I knew Derra, a fragile, easily tired anadi who longed for children and had only been able to bear one so far. If Derra had conceived, Clan Edla would stay where the risks to her pregnancy could be minimized. Two anadi pregnant and another with a toddler would make traveling difficult⊠and, coincidentally, give Koish and Edla status in the new settlement. Fruitfulness was admired, no matter where on Ke Bakil you traveled, and clans rich in breeding anadi were granted a deference that no other Jokkad could claim.
âWill you stay?â he asked. When I hesitated, he said, âOr come back to check on Derra through her pregnancy?â I could hear his smile in the dark. âYouâll know exactly where to find us.â
âKe emodoâŠâ I sighed. âYes. Iâll check on her. I wonât promise to live here, but Iâll come back from time to time.â
âThank you. I knew you would, just as I know you understand why Iâve changed my mind.â
âWe all serve the breeders,â I said, as if I had scooped the words out of Mardinâs mouth.
âYes. Good night to you, ke anadi.â
Melon shuffled toward the end of his stall to bump my shoulder with his muzzle, and I petted it idly, watching Koishâs body until I could neither see nor hear him.
Yes, I understood. And I feared that I had my own reasons to change my mind, because I was not ready for the future. Are we ever?