What a privilege it is to be alive during these strange and exhilarating and confounding times! Just sitting by the fire to collect my thoughts about the road ahead has made me realize how much I’ve lived through, and how much I hope I’ll see yet. It’s wild to have watched the advent of the internet… wilder still to see that I get to live through the AI revolution, the automation and robotics wave, and the resumption of serious space travel.

I know there’s a lot of dooming out there. It’s hip to be morose and peddling rage or fear is good for views. You’re probably getting a lot of pessimism from every quarter from the most minor (“the algorithm makes it hard for me to sell my crocheted tomato!”) to the most extreme (“I’m convinced we’re going to die as a species for some reason or another!”). But you’re not going to get that from me. There’s a social media meme that consists of a relaxing image and a caption that says, “Rest here for a while, weary doomscroller” and that’s where I’m at. I’m your place to rest from constant pessimism. I think the future is going to be exciting. And while I won’t lie—change is uncomfortable and destabilizing—I think we needed some shaking up. You can’t move on if you’re not moving.

My personal situation continues to involve life changes that guarantee an unsettled schedule/routine, but I trust these things will work out for the best. Because of that, I'm not willing to make any big plans for my art or writing for the year. My guess is that I’m going to spend another four months or so finishing my game and then releasing it to see if you all enjoy it, and that once I get that done I’ll be ready to look around and make more distinct plans. Reason being: I think I’m burnt out.

(Yes, I know, a bunch of you are either nodding, rolling your eyes, or saying ‘finally!’)

I’ve been getting by on sheer grit for about five years now, and while it’s important to be disciplined when you don’t feel like working, it’s also important to recognize the difference between sloth and stripping the gears. I’ve been resisting taking a break because I feel strongly about reciprocation (“readers who buy my books deserve finished series in a timely fashion”) and because I like eating and writing makes me money. But I note two things:

1 - most readers are used to waiting a lot longer between books than I am willing to wait to write them, even if I’m on hiatus;

2 - I don’t want to write important books that I care about while burnt-out-toasted;

And also,

3 - I have a project that I’m enjoying and that is refilling the creative well (the game).

Writing the game has meant doing a ton of drawing, a ton of thinking laterally (in ways I’m not used to) and is definitely using parts of my brain that aren’t story-related, which is giving those bits a much-needed rest. I wake up excited to work! It’s been a long time since that’s been true. And working on the game is also my way of engaging with all the changes in our reality, from the very small (“the algorithm is making it hard for me to market my book about crocheted tomatoes”) to the very large (“what does it mean to be a creative human in an age of AI”). So all this matters, and I’m excited about it…!

But as always, I know you’re thinking: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN JAGUAR BRING IT ON HOME

So here’s what you can look forward to!

in the next few months I’m going to finish getting this game to beta! I’m aiming for May.

When that happens, I’ll put in a patreon tier that awards you game currency if you want that.

Patreon people will have beta access.

There will be an official discord channel category so you can chat with other players and role-play in the world of the Jokka.

If the game remains a niche thing for only my fans, that’s still pretty awesome. If it gets traction beyond my fans, that’s also awesome (and a little scary-exciting!). If it flops, then after a while I’ll sunset it and still be excited because I did something new and I learned a tremendous amount doing it... while also taking a much-needed step back from all my stresses and worries about the book-writing part of my career. Basically, there’s no way for me to lose.

If you’re interested in alpha testing, you’re welcome to join but you must be willing to talk about bugs and help me tear things apart in the Discord sandbox channel. Let me know!

Anyway! Long story short: I am giving myself another six months or so to work on this project so that I can turn my attention to my existing projects after having actually RESTED by not working on them or thinking about them or fretting about sales figures. And I honestly think the game is going to be fun. 

I close with this photo from a recent trip to a pretty distant park (for me). The cold front was just sweeping in, and there was all this wind... not just the high rustling of leaves, but also these eerie squeaks from where tree limbs were rubbing against one another. It was the first time in a long time I'd seen a front like this sweep in during the day, and the clouds were moving so fast that you could forget how large they were compared to you, plodding along beneath them.

And then, after about half an hour, this incredible sky opened up, bright and shocking and high and blue, and there was a crispness in the air that was like waking up. That's how I feel right now: very awake, and very alive.

Friends, I hope this feeling reaches you, and you turn your eyes upward toward the opportunities in front of us. Regardless, I'll be here.🧡