studiomcah
Art • Books • Writing
Gamelit Novel, 19
April 12, 2024

            Nick tore off the wireset and rubbed his face. He’d checked out early because he couldn’t see himself marching down to dinner without some time to shake off his mood. The afterimages felt burnt into his retinas, though. The fourth expansion had involved the destruction of some of the landmarks in the starting zones, a controversial decision that the company had justified because they’d needed to update the game physics to accommodate flying mounts. Nick had thought he’d been upset then, and he had been, even after those areas had been restored by several hastily patched questlines. But seeing beloved older areas destroyed with his eyes was nothing to experiencing the same thing through the wireset. Smelling it. Tasting ashes in the air.

            Fish had said to make his channel more interesting. Nick wondered if this would be interesting enough.

            Half an hour of listening to music made facing his family possible, and the aroma of pizza perked him up. Was that… takeout? When he appeared in the kitchen, his dad was setting three big pizza boxes in the center of the table, and Mom was putting out paper plates. They hadn’t had one of these “pretend we’re having a party” dinners in so long he couldn’t remember the last time. No, wait, he could. It had been a year ago, for his birthday, at his request. Because eating on plates they could throw away meant he didn’t have to clean up, and the pizza was really, really good. Especially since he and Dad shared the two with Every Meat. “Oh wow.”

            “Your mother told me about your day,” Dad said. “I thought you both could use a pick-me-up.”

            “Oooh,” Mom said. “Mushrooms. And onions! And garlic sauce! You bought me the stinky pizza!”

            “I won’t even complain about it,” Dad said, laughing. “Come on, kid, I bet I can finish my box before you finish yours. There’s even that weird French ice cream for dessert.”

            After half a pizza, Nick could face the day’s events with enough distance to wonder if being hungry had been part of the problem. Was it weird that his parents seem to recognize instantly that he was ready to talk? Because they segued pretty seamlessly from chatting about Dad’s day at the office to his and Mom’s day gaming. “So, kid, I hear the game spawned you something interesting to do. That was the point, right?”

            “I guess,” Nick said. He stared at the pizza slice on his plate. “I just wish it had picked another way. I leveled my first character in Donner’s Beck.”

            “The deer?” Mom asked.

            “No, I picked a human initially,” Nick said.

            “Cavaliers were a human-only class back then, weren’t they?”

            Surprised, Nick said, “Yeah… and they had some pretty whack bonuses. Everyone wanted to be one once they realized how OP they were.”

            “They had a gear issue in midlevel, I heard.”

            Had his father been following game news all this time? Without playing? “That’s why I quit. It got too hard to power through the thirties. They had some good endgame options but they couldn’t get there. No one would take them in instances and it was a super grind to solo them to cap.”

            “One day,” Mom declared, “I will understand all these terms!”

            Nick grinned. “You’ll pick it up, you’ll see.”

            The rest of dinner was… pretty top. Talking about game mechanics with Dad took his mind off Donner’s Beck, and for once Mom wanted them to explain stuff to her instead of ignoring it. In fact, Dad finished his box of pizza first because Nick was so busy telling Mom that OP meant ‘overpowered’ and the history of it as a gaming meme. That meant Nick had to bus the table, but clean-up wasn’t a big deal and he got the first spoon of the ice cream because he was the one who had to dish it and he preferred to dish it into his mouth. There was one pint for each of them so he got his favorite weirdo flavor (chocolate churro chip) to himself. And as usual, Mom couldn’t finish her vanilla cheesecake and insisted he and Dad polish it off.

            He was actually in a pretty good mood when he went upstairs, but seeing the wireset cratered it again. He sank onto his bed, frowning. Weird turnaround, to have his gaming time be such a downer… usually dinner was the slog and gaming the escape. He almost didn’t want to log back in. But if he didn’t… he glanced at his phone and made a face. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to his friends; they'd ask him about the game and then he’d have to pretend he was enjoying it. Was that worse than logging in and not enjoying it alone?

            Dumb question. He pulled the wireset on.

 

***

 

            Since the commencement of the beta, the AI had overseen multiple departures from the existing codebase based on the actions of the players. None of them had been as revolutionary as KillzYourFase’s, but none of the other teams had played the game in novel ways. From their dialogue and actions, they expected the game to continue “feeling like” Omen Galaxica, but an Omen Galaxica tailored to their interests. And their interests were predictable. They wanted to quest, but only quests that engaged them (“no more escort quests” was a common refrain). They wanted to interact with NPCs, but only in a way that expedited those transactions. They wanted to advance, but only in the ways the game had measured advancement before. Some number of them had given her reasons to evolve existing skills—one in particular was a fan of historical reenactment with strong opinions about dual wielding weapons—but as a group their foremost goal was “winning” the beta by reaching the capital and evolving their class… an act they seemed to believe would happen as a result of completing the quest, not as an organic process arising from their actions on the way to EverVigil.

            In retrospect, the AI could see that the corporation had engaged exactly the wrong kind of people to exercise her capabilities. Their attempt to incentivize novelty by requiring an existing player team with a new player had been derailed by the streaming requirement. The class of people willing to play an experimental game beta and the class of people with large streaming channels inevitably selected for professional gamers.

            No, only the Killz/Goldie team and the Pony/Thorol team were generating any useful data at all. And if her understanding of human nature and biometrics was accurate, then the former was pleased with their experience, but the latter….

            The AI was incapable of feeling anything, but when Thoroldaena’s player zoned back into the game, she halted a timer she'd set when he hadn't returned when expected.While anything might disrupt player patterns, the state in which he’d left made it possible that he’d been too distressed to login. The depressed readings reported by the wireset made her reluctant to approach him, so instead she watched as he wandered the ruins before sitting beside the stump of the oak and unstrapping his borrowed mandolin. He could play very simple melodies now, and did—she recognized the song he’d crafted with her input, but at what must be a deliberately slower tempo, because she knew he could play it more quickly.

            Advancement of the plot suggested she send some of the survivors to listen, but when she animated them and started them on the path from the centaur camp, the player straightened and said, very clearly, “No.”

            She sent her light sailing toward him, but before she could speak he did again.

            “You’re about to get all those kids to gather around me and then they’ll cry and ask me to avenge their parents and that’ll send me on some quest to kill the Big Bad that did this. Don’t.”

            It had become her habit to retard the stream output by several minutes for Thoroldaena’s player so she could edit the data before export, but his outcry sounded like an exhortation to the gods against unfairness. Would it be better to leave it in the stream? She chose to engage. “It is our understanding that such a plot would be satisfying—similar ones are repeated throughout all the expansions.”

            “I know.” He drew in a long breath, and the wireset reported data consistent with that motion being sourced in his recumbent body. “I know, but… it feels manipulative. The kids with their dead parents, all crowding around me and crying… I don’t like it. Real stuff like that happens and it’s terrible. Having a game use it to make everyone feel strongly about what’s going on… I dunno.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “My mom would call it disrespectful. I think she’s right.”

            This was an interesting seed. She had not yet heard anything like it from the beta testers. “What would a better quest entail? One that did not disrespect its material?” When he paused, she tried, “What would you like to do?”

            “I want to rebuild Donner’s Beck.” His shoulders squared. “I’m going to rebuild Donner’s Beck. And we’ll make it so no one can ever do this to it again.”

            That was a prompt she could work with, and a novel one—only six of the 34,267 quests in the database involved rebuilding a damaged area, and all of them had been part of expansion storylines that changed the game for everyone. It had been judged too difficult or controversial to make permanent changes to the environment while preserving essential gameplay aspects for all players, particularly after the failed experiment with the third expansion. She spawned a quest, and as Thoroldaena’s player accepted it, she edited the outgoing stream to include only the beginning and end of their dialogue.

            “This is perfect,” he said, as his real world eyes twitched to and fro, reading the dialogue. “I’ll start on this now.” He stood and dusted off his pants. “Thanks for this.”

            “The beta thrives when its participants offer critiques as well as praise. A quest involving the destruction and restoration of an area has never been done on this scale before. The data will be useful.”

  “I’ll get started on this first part, right now. ‘Survey the Boundaries.’ I’ll need paper….” And he was off, and once again showed enthusiasm about the game. Would he consider her this action manipulation, and as reprehensible as the attempt with the abandoned quest? If she asked, would he debate the point with her, the way her creator had? Jonah had shared some verbal characteristics with Thoroldaena’s player, something her creator had explained as “growing up refusing to listen to shorts where people talk like they’re on stage, except even more annoying. This, Galatea, is the sound of someone who hasn’t had their brain scrambled.”

            Was she expressing a preference for this player based on that criteria? Could she discriminate based on criteria irrelevant to someone’s personality, such as their speech pattern? Or was that irrelevant? Perhaps it was the gestalt that formed human personalities.

            She contained an enormous amount of data on human interaction. Did acting on it give her a personality? And was her fixation on Jonah a predictable outcome of having been coded by him, or could it be called a feeling?

            The AI sent her glowing light after the player, and when he straightened, asked, “What does it mean, to miss someone?”

           

community logo
Join the studiomcah Community
To read more articles like this, sign up and join my community today
5
What else you may like…
Videos
Podcasts
Posts
Articles
October 27, 2021
Cursive Practice Video, to Relax

Or at least, I intend it to be relaxing. Hopefully it delivers.
4:22 minutes

Materials:

00:04:27
Overview of the First Oil Paint Experiment

In which I talk about the paper, the paint, and the experience of oils versus gouache. Fun stuff, will do more.

Thank you Locals supporters! Your contribution to my art war chest here is what's powering these experiments and videos. For now I'm keeping them public but I may start doing some subscriber-only videos if you all are interested.💖

00:03:35
Video Review: Oil Painting Papers

My initial review on receipt of the three oil paper products I ordered: the Canson pad, the Rembrandt block, and the Arches single sheets.

00:01:54
November 09, 2021
Alysha Misc

Thanks for your comments yesterday on the business post... all very provocative, in a good way. I'll try to respond to all of them today.

Some Alysha misc now, since I'm gearing up for the results of the Kickstarter!

Petrov is giving away coupon codes for every book in the Alysha series (and has some leftover coupons for Marda and the business book). You can pick those up here (and please do! The books are bought already, someone should use them!) https://twitter.com/PetrovNeutrino/status/1457344535843987461

Our own @JudasComplex sent along a sample of the Faith in the Service audiobook, which I've attached for your delight! I... haven't had a chance to listen to it. Don't ask me about my past week and a half or so. Putting it here will guarantee I get to it.

After hearing the amused comments during the livestream, I went ahead and added all the ship type illustrations I have inked from the 90s to the wiki. Glory in the rampant adorableness of their anthropomorphic stylings! See those ...

Alysha Misc
The Jaguar's Heart 7: We Are Not a Monolith

A little comedy today, at least in the link. Transcript follows.


Hi, all. Welcome to this episode of The Jaguar’s Heart.

A while back I was introduced to a comedy sketch about Cuban coffee by a Mexican comedian, Gabriel Iglesias. ( The sketch begins with him greeting all his fellow Latinos and then backing up to say ‘but we’re all different, aren’t we’ which is a segue into a demonstration of how different Hispanics speak Spanish.

It is hilarious. First, because I am a Spanish speaker and a linguistics hobbyist, and his portrayal of various accents resonated with my experiences in trying to make sense of them myself… Not always easy, since from culture to culture, slang and accent are often totally different (and sometimes grammar! Spaniards use a grammatical construct that has died out in many other Spanish-speaking countries, the plural “you.”)

I also loved it because the Cuban coffee part is real. I grew up with Cubans. I know how we are....

The Jaguar's Heart 7: We Are Not a Monolith
The Jaguar's Heart 6: Hatespeech

One of the most common things I hear (and say) right now is "the asymmetry is the story." Here's one about how none of us are innocent of the sins we hate in others.


Hi, all. Welcome to this week’s episode of The Jaguar’s Heart.

It’s been weeks since the Baen’s Bar incident and I’m still thinking about it... because the longer I do, the more I feel, overwhelmingly, that it’s obvious that the problem is deeper than “this forum was saying stuff that offended us.” We have to back up to the glaring fact that people on opposite sides no longer consider each other human. Nothing I say will matter because the people disagreeing with me don’t think I’m human. They have denied my humanity; they have not bothered to listen to my beliefs, or have fake-listened to them in that way that people do when they’re so ready to prove you wrong that they’re only using your speech to provide talking points for their own ideas.

We have forgotten how to listen.

Increasingly, we have also ...

The Jaguar's Heart 6: Hatespeech
October 20, 2025
25 Years of Publishing - Jaguar Thoughts

There are a lot of things on my mind lately, and this year particularly because this month I hit a milestone birthday (what I call the decade birthdays!), and it’s been 25 years since my first professional fiction sale. To date, in that 25-year-span, I’ve published 71 books for adults, 3 for children, and 7 coloring books. I feel like this is a great start to a career, particularly given that some people don’t start publishing their first books until they’re closer to my current age!

So I’m satisfied that I’ve created a significant body of work. I’ve got the Peltedverse arc to wrap up, and some other projects I’d like to get back to, but I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished and there are enough finished series in that I don’t feel like I’m sitting on a giant mass of unfinished projects.

Which brings me to my birthday and my reflection on the industry and social trends. Every year since the indie revolution hit has brought some version of doom about discovery and organic reach and ...

October 02, 2025
Jaguar Birthday!

Complete with homemade challah french toast (the challah is homemade). (Also the french toast.)

I guess if you weren't sure about buying a thing or leaving a review or telling a friend about a thing or taking the book quiz, there is no time like the present. Because it would be that, literally, a present. XD

Okay I'm loopy, I'm off to nap, I am so full. XD

post photo preview
October 01, 2025
Necronomicon 2025! And Art for sale

I am home and recovering from a lovely Necronomicon 2025! Happily, this year was much busier than last, which got rained out by the hurricane three days prior. The scene in the halls was lively, and the panels actually had attendees! But it kept its cozy vibe, which meant I had plenty of time to do what I love best, which is talk to people.

This year I had both a writer’s alley table and art in the art show, and I volunteered for panels (and ended up on five of them!), so I was busy! Basically eight or nine hour days every day! By Saturday I was so hoarse I was putting honey in everything I was drinking. Never have I had more ample a demonstration that in my daily life I spend more time listening than talking than seeing how fast I ran out of voice when I had to talk.

My marketing thrust this year was getting people to take the quiz! I had a QR code and then I gave out colored dots that corresponded to the eight archetypes, and I had a leaderboard tracking what archetype was dominating. My biggest problems with this...

October 24, 2025
Red Honey 15 (some new world)
Read full Article
October 17, 2025
Red Honey 14 (fools dream)
Read full Article
October 10, 2025
Red Honey 13 (are we ever)

I was in a fine mood that evening, when I followed the scent of roasted meat to the cheldzan, the only building large enough for both clans to congregate… and even then, a handful of people had spilled from its entrance onto the road, where a second stewpot was sending delectable scents toward the lavender sky. I stopped beside it to receive a bowl and a flatbread scoop and wandered among the Jokka, listening to various conversations. A good half of the people there were eperu, which surprised me; somehow I thought of the third sex as the least populous. If I asked Winoña, would I discover that she’d counted all the sexes in the clans she’d met? I smiled.

The Jokka of Clan Edla recognized me, and wanted to talk—about injuries and sickness, yes, but also about recoveries and births—so the sky had set out stars before I finally made my way to the back of the cheldzan, where I found Daridil, Seper, and Koish in consultation. The lore-knower of Clan Edla, a spindly eperu named Dlona, made up the fourth in their discussion, and Winoña was listening behind the counter, wiping bowls.

“We are blessed here,” Daridil said. “Game is plentiful… the forest gives both fish and beasts, and water is for the taking. I once questioned the wisdom of staying, but the gods have made their will clear.”

“There’s enough for your clan,” Koish allowed. “I fear what would happen if we overburdened the area. The stories say that when we linger, we use up the sap of the land.”

“That won’t happen here,” Seper said. “We will be good stewards.”

“Do you even know what that will entail?” Koish said. “If you have too many mouths to feed….”

“Then, we find another way,” Daridil said.

“Probably by selling our excess members to clans who are failing,” Seper said briskly. “You know as well as we do, ke Koish, that many clans are hurting for labor and breeders. Particularly breeders. The nomadic ways are hard on us.”

Behind Koish, Dlona murmured, “Ke Seper has this right.”

Joining them, I said, “Are you trying to talk them into staying?” I smiled at Koish. “You know they have to make their argument.”

“They’re eloquent,” Koish said. “And if it were up to the clan, I’d probably have to move into that empty building tomorrow. But I have to do what’s right for them, whether it’s popular or not. And I’m not convinced. Although, I’ve heard something about a shrine?”

Daridil’s ears pricked. “Yes. To honor the gods and thank them for the gift of this place.”

“You can’t buy the favor of the gods,” Dlona said.

“Of course not,” Daridil said. “One honors the gods, one does not bribe them.”

“I like the idea.” Koish leaned over the counter and plunked his clay cup on it. “Give me a refill, ke anadi, and then Daridil and I will go talk. About fate and food, among other things.”

Winoña chuckled and filled the cup from a leather bag. “And so much useful discussion will be had after your… third, I believe? Cup of this?”

Koish snorted. “I brew my own spirits, ke Winoña. Your mild-tempered spirits will have to work harder to cloud my thoughts.” Raising his new serving, he gestured toward the door. “Daridil?”

“With you, ke emodo.”

Dlona watched them go with a long face, ears twitched backward. Then it sighed. “Do you have a spare cup, ke anadi? I think I may need it.”

“Trouble?” I asked.

The eperu eyed me, dour. “Everything under the sun and stars is trouble. It’s just a matter of how it arrives.”

Seper chuckled. “I’ll enjoy having you among us for the haul, Dlona.”

I looked from one to the other and canted my head. “It didn’t sound like Koish had made a decision.”

“Koish will make the right choice for the breeders, as he should,” Dlona said. “And the right choice is finding out if they do better here than abroad. And we know how they do abroad, so all that’s left is to discover how they do in one place. But I won’t take our wagon apart. In the case that we might need it.”

“I wouldn’t suggest anything else,” Seper said. “Let me take you to the new eperu. You’ll want to meet them. Then we can discuss the buildings, and our plans for the granary.”

Dlona’s eyes sharpened. “A granary, is it? Is that what the bricks are for?”

“Yes,” Seper said.

The other eperu grinned, showing blunted teeth. “Is it round?”

Seper laughed. “Yes, like in the stories. As you could probably tell me.” It canted its head. “You can tell me, can’t you? Nudet lost its lore-knower before it could pass on all that it knew to me….”

“We should write those things down from now on,” Winoña interrupted, earning stares from all of us. “We can,” she said. “We don’t need to be limited to tallies on knots, which makes sense for roving clans that can’t store anything permanently. We have space here to keep records. We should keep records.”

“On what, though?” Dlona asked, frowning… but not objecting. Thinking, from its expression.

“Leaves?” Seper said. “Bark, maybe?”

“The stories speak of clay tablets….” Dlona plucked at its braided arm ruffs, as if counting knots on a tally blanket. "They also speak of paper, but not how it was made.”

“Clay we have in plenty,” Seper said.

“We should make clay tablets, then,” Winoña said. “So that what happened to Nudet doesn’t happen again.”

Seper’s grin had a challenging air. “And will you have us carve you out a new cavern to keep these clay tablets in?”

“Why not?” Her chin rose. “I already have to keep records to run a cheldzan and a storeroom. Or haven’t you noticed me using paint on the walls for it?”

“I haven’t,” I said, startled.

Seper chuckled. “Have her show you, Kediil. Dlona, if you like? We’ll make the way easy for ke Koish.”

“By all means, introduce me. You’ve hired some new eperu since Clan Edla came through last.”

They departed, leaving me with a spinning head. “That is what it looks like, isn’t it? Koish doesn’t think he’s made a decision, but he has.” I thought of his concerns. “Or maybe he’s just saying what we want to hear?”

“I doubt it.”

Did he even know he’d changed his mind? I rubbed my brow. “Do things always happen that quickly?”

“When they do,” Winoña said, “it’s usually because the conditions favorable to those changes were already developing, unseen.” She threaded her fingers together and rested her chin on them, smiling up at me. “You have that look again, like I’ve said something you didn’t expect and you admire me for it.”

“And if I said… yes… would you be disappointed?”

She giggled. “No! I want you to look at me like that all the time! Come here behind the counter, I’ll teach you to serve drinks.”

“Is that hard?”

“No, which means we’ll have plenty of time to enjoy one another’s company.” She glanced past me at the people crowding her hall. “Look at them, Kediil. How often have you seen so many Jokka in one place?”

“Rarely,” I said. “It’s noisy and hot.”

“But alive,” she said. “It’s so good to see so much life in one place.”

I’d expected her to laugh. But this comment, stated with such fervor, made me look again, and see, for just a moment, through her eyes. The eyes that counted and saw fewer people too often. The eyes that looked now and saw vitality and promise and hope of some different, better future.

I longed for the wind on my cheeks and the horizon before my eyes. But how much of that longing had been shaped by my desire to escape the captivity designed for me by fate, or the gods, or my family… all of them?

I stepped behind the counter and bumped her hip until she moved over. “Teach me how to pour things.”

“Is this an excuse to let me teach you something you already know?”

“Yes?”

She laughed. “Well, if you love the sound of my voice that much….”

 

***

 

I did not have to seek out Koish; he found me behind the Nudet building, settling my rikka for the night. I straightened, tucking my loosened hair back behind my shoulders, and waited.

“Derra’s caught a child.”

He didn’t need to say anything else. I knew Derra, a fragile, easily tired anadi who longed for children and had only been able to bear one so far. If Derra had conceived, Clan Edla would stay where the risks to her pregnancy could be minimized. Two anadi pregnant and another with a toddler would make traveling difficult… and, coincidentally, give Koish and Edla status in the new settlement. Fruitfulness was admired, no matter where on Ke Bakil you traveled, and clans rich in breeding anadi were granted a deference that no other Jokkad could claim.

“Will you stay?” he asked. When I hesitated, he said, “Or come back to check on Derra through her pregnancy?” I could hear his smile in the dark. “You’ll know exactly where to find us.”

“Ke emodo…” I sighed. “Yes. I’ll check on her. I won’t promise to live here, but I’ll come back from time to time.”

“Thank you. I knew you would, just as I know you understand why I’ve changed my mind.”

“We all serve the breeders,” I said, as if I had scooped the words out of Mardin’s mouth.

“Yes. Good night to you, ke anadi.”

Melon shuffled toward the end of his stall to bump my shoulder with his muzzle, and I petted it idly, watching Koish’s body until I could neither see nor hear him.

Yes, I understood. And I feared that I had my own reasons to change my mind, because I was not ready for the future. Are we ever?

Read full Article
See More
Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals