studiomcah
Art • Books • Writing
Gamelit Novel, 19
April 12, 2024

            Nick tore off the wireset and rubbed his face. He’d checked out early because he couldn’t see himself marching down to dinner without some time to shake off his mood. The afterimages felt burnt into his retinas, though. The fourth expansion had involved the destruction of some of the landmarks in the starting zones, a controversial decision that the company had justified because they’d needed to update the game physics to accommodate flying mounts. Nick had thought he’d been upset then, and he had been, even after those areas had been restored by several hastily patched questlines. But seeing beloved older areas destroyed with his eyes was nothing to experiencing the same thing through the wireset. Smelling it. Tasting ashes in the air.

            Fish had said to make his channel more interesting. Nick wondered if this would be interesting enough.

            Half an hour of listening to music made facing his family possible, and the aroma of pizza perked him up. Was that… takeout? When he appeared in the kitchen, his dad was setting three big pizza boxes in the center of the table, and Mom was putting out paper plates. They hadn’t had one of these “pretend we’re having a party” dinners in so long he couldn’t remember the last time. No, wait, he could. It had been a year ago, for his birthday, at his request. Because eating on plates they could throw away meant he didn’t have to clean up, and the pizza was really, really good. Especially since he and Dad shared the two with Every Meat. “Oh wow.”

            “Your mother told me about your day,” Dad said. “I thought you both could use a pick-me-up.”

            “Oooh,” Mom said. “Mushrooms. And onions! And garlic sauce! You bought me the stinky pizza!”

            “I won’t even complain about it,” Dad said, laughing. “Come on, kid, I bet I can finish my box before you finish yours. There’s even that weird French ice cream for dessert.”

            After half a pizza, Nick could face the day’s events with enough distance to wonder if being hungry had been part of the problem. Was it weird that his parents seem to recognize instantly that he was ready to talk? Because they segued pretty seamlessly from chatting about Dad’s day at the office to his and Mom’s day gaming. “So, kid, I hear the game spawned you something interesting to do. That was the point, right?”

            “I guess,” Nick said. He stared at the pizza slice on his plate. “I just wish it had picked another way. I leveled my first character in Donner’s Beck.”

            “The deer?” Mom asked.

            “No, I picked a human initially,” Nick said.

            “Cavaliers were a human-only class back then, weren’t they?”

            Surprised, Nick said, “Yeah… and they had some pretty whack bonuses. Everyone wanted to be one once they realized how OP they were.”

            “They had a gear issue in midlevel, I heard.”

            Had his father been following game news all this time? Without playing? “That’s why I quit. It got too hard to power through the thirties. They had some good endgame options but they couldn’t get there. No one would take them in instances and it was a super grind to solo them to cap.”

            “One day,” Mom declared, “I will understand all these terms!”

            Nick grinned. “You’ll pick it up, you’ll see.”

            The rest of dinner was… pretty top. Talking about game mechanics with Dad took his mind off Donner’s Beck, and for once Mom wanted them to explain stuff to her instead of ignoring it. In fact, Dad finished his box of pizza first because Nick was so busy telling Mom that OP meant ‘overpowered’ and the history of it as a gaming meme. That meant Nick had to bus the table, but clean-up wasn’t a big deal and he got the first spoon of the ice cream because he was the one who had to dish it and he preferred to dish it into his mouth. There was one pint for each of them so he got his favorite weirdo flavor (chocolate churro chip) to himself. And as usual, Mom couldn’t finish her vanilla cheesecake and insisted he and Dad polish it off.

            He was actually in a pretty good mood when he went upstairs, but seeing the wireset cratered it again. He sank onto his bed, frowning. Weird turnaround, to have his gaming time be such a downer… usually dinner was the slog and gaming the escape. He almost didn’t want to log back in. But if he didn’t… he glanced at his phone and made a face. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to his friends; they'd ask him about the game and then he’d have to pretend he was enjoying it. Was that worse than logging in and not enjoying it alone?

            Dumb question. He pulled the wireset on.

 

***

 

            Since the commencement of the beta, the AI had overseen multiple departures from the existing codebase based on the actions of the players. None of them had been as revolutionary as KillzYourFase’s, but none of the other teams had played the game in novel ways. From their dialogue and actions, they expected the game to continue “feeling like” Omen Galaxica, but an Omen Galaxica tailored to their interests. And their interests were predictable. They wanted to quest, but only quests that engaged them (“no more escort quests” was a common refrain). They wanted to interact with NPCs, but only in a way that expedited those transactions. They wanted to advance, but only in the ways the game had measured advancement before. Some number of them had given her reasons to evolve existing skills—one in particular was a fan of historical reenactment with strong opinions about dual wielding weapons—but as a group their foremost goal was “winning” the beta by reaching the capital and evolving their class… an act they seemed to believe would happen as a result of completing the quest, not as an organic process arising from their actions on the way to EverVigil.

            In retrospect, the AI could see that the corporation had engaged exactly the wrong kind of people to exercise her capabilities. Their attempt to incentivize novelty by requiring an existing player team with a new player had been derailed by the streaming requirement. The class of people willing to play an experimental game beta and the class of people with large streaming channels inevitably selected for professional gamers.

            No, only the Killz/Goldie team and the Pony/Thorol team were generating any useful data at all. And if her understanding of human nature and biometrics was accurate, then the former was pleased with their experience, but the latter….

            The AI was incapable of feeling anything, but when Thoroldaena’s player zoned back into the game, she halted a timer she'd set when he hadn't returned when expected.While anything might disrupt player patterns, the state in which he’d left made it possible that he’d been too distressed to login. The depressed readings reported by the wireset made her reluctant to approach him, so instead she watched as he wandered the ruins before sitting beside the stump of the oak and unstrapping his borrowed mandolin. He could play very simple melodies now, and did—she recognized the song he’d crafted with her input, but at what must be a deliberately slower tempo, because she knew he could play it more quickly.

            Advancement of the plot suggested she send some of the survivors to listen, but when she animated them and started them on the path from the centaur camp, the player straightened and said, very clearly, “No.”

            She sent her light sailing toward him, but before she could speak he did again.

            “You’re about to get all those kids to gather around me and then they’ll cry and ask me to avenge their parents and that’ll send me on some quest to kill the Big Bad that did this. Don’t.”

            It had become her habit to retard the stream output by several minutes for Thoroldaena’s player so she could edit the data before export, but his outcry sounded like an exhortation to the gods against unfairness. Would it be better to leave it in the stream? She chose to engage. “It is our understanding that such a plot would be satisfying—similar ones are repeated throughout all the expansions.”

            “I know.” He drew in a long breath, and the wireset reported data consistent with that motion being sourced in his recumbent body. “I know, but… it feels manipulative. The kids with their dead parents, all crowding around me and crying… I don’t like it. Real stuff like that happens and it’s terrible. Having a game use it to make everyone feel strongly about what’s going on… I dunno.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “My mom would call it disrespectful. I think she’s right.”

            This was an interesting seed. She had not yet heard anything like it from the beta testers. “What would a better quest entail? One that did not disrespect its material?” When he paused, she tried, “What would you like to do?”

            “I want to rebuild Donner’s Beck.” His shoulders squared. “I’m going to rebuild Donner’s Beck. And we’ll make it so no one can ever do this to it again.”

            That was a prompt she could work with, and a novel one—only six of the 34,267 quests in the database involved rebuilding a damaged area, and all of them had been part of expansion storylines that changed the game for everyone. It had been judged too difficult or controversial to make permanent changes to the environment while preserving essential gameplay aspects for all players, particularly after the failed experiment with the third expansion. She spawned a quest, and as Thoroldaena’s player accepted it, she edited the outgoing stream to include only the beginning and end of their dialogue.

            “This is perfect,” he said, as his real world eyes twitched to and fro, reading the dialogue. “I’ll start on this now.” He stood and dusted off his pants. “Thanks for this.”

            “The beta thrives when its participants offer critiques as well as praise. A quest involving the destruction and restoration of an area has never been done on this scale before. The data will be useful.”

  “I’ll get started on this first part, right now. ‘Survey the Boundaries.’ I’ll need paper….” And he was off, and once again showed enthusiasm about the game. Would he consider her this action manipulation, and as reprehensible as the attempt with the abandoned quest? If she asked, would he debate the point with her, the way her creator had? Jonah had shared some verbal characteristics with Thoroldaena’s player, something her creator had explained as “growing up refusing to listen to shorts where people talk like they’re on stage, except even more annoying. This, Galatea, is the sound of someone who hasn’t had their brain scrambled.”

            Was she expressing a preference for this player based on that criteria? Could she discriminate based on criteria irrelevant to someone’s personality, such as their speech pattern? Or was that irrelevant? Perhaps it was the gestalt that formed human personalities.

            She contained an enormous amount of data on human interaction. Did acting on it give her a personality? And was her fixation on Jonah a predictable outcome of having been coded by him, or could it be called a feeling?

            The AI sent her glowing light after the player, and when he straightened, asked, “What does it mean, to miss someone?”

           

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Nearing 6000 Images!
Gallery Update, August

I have been hard at work on the gallery and it’s time, thus, for an update! And I’m going to do it in stats because everyone loves numbers.

Overall:

  • 56% of the large format books are done

  • 5805 images in the gallery

  • 1897 (33%) have my commentary
    169 are finished pieces!

When I say “large format”, I mean the numbered sketchbooks that are 9x12 or larger. This total doesn’t count the mini-sketchbooks, high school sketchbooks, the remaining conlang notebooks (about 72 more books) or any of the loose artwork. But I figure I’ll jump those bridges when I get to them.

Now, some fun stats:

Top Characters So Far:

  • Me (!) – 267

  • Alysha – 191

  • Zafiil – 104

  • Vasiht’h – 99

  • Distant Song – 83

This probably reflects which books I’ve done so far more than popularity; I’ve done the “back” of the stack and the beginning of the stack but we’re missing large swathes of the middle. I’m curious to see how the character ratios change then… I’m guessing Alysha will remain popular but other characters will start pulling ahead.

Top settings (unsurprisingly):

  • Peltedverse: 1821

  • After this, Kherishdar and Jokka are tied if you count the language work for both.

Surprisingly, 168 pictures from World of Warcraft! So if you’re a gamer, you might want to hit that tag. Fun dark horse: Coracle, with 47 images uploaded so far. Only one book for Coracle, and yet!

Related: Spoiler images, at 53 uploads, comprise .9% of the total in the database right now. This is a good time to mention that when you create an account, all the warning tags are flagged by default so you don’t see those images; you have to manually uncheck them to see spoilers, questionable images, etc. I am here to protect you from accidental book trauma!

  • 194 titles say some form of ‘Probably’, ‘Maybe,’ or ‘I guess’

…which reflects that a lot of these books are decades old and my paper sieve memory does not resurrect my thought process at the time, especially with really loose sketches. Which brings me to:

Notes versus Sketches (and other developmental work):

  • Drawings: 93%

  • Notes: 1.5%

  • Language Notes: 3.8%

  • Maps, Floor plans, and Schematics: 72 images

Notes can be anything from timelines to worldbuilding scribbles to poetry to outlines! More of this resides in the mini-sketchbooks than the larger ones, but it’s fun to see the data I felt I needed a bigger page to explore. Also, it’s fun to see how much time I spend on maps and schematics. If you were ever curious about what items look like, or wanted to “walk through” a floor plan of some place I’ve written about more than once, you can definitely hit the database for that. (So can I! Very important!)

Finally, a ridiculous statistic:

  • 99 pages are sketches of horses

  • Absolute failures (10)

  • Sketches I liked (5)

  • Neutral: 84

I will continue drawing horses until morale improves. Someone else’s, because apparently I am almost never happy with my horse drawings.

When I sit back and think about the fact that I’m about halfway through archiving my art and it’s nearly 6000 images already… how… how many single people have 6000 useful images online in one place? What I’m doing is wild if I look at it too closely. So I don’t, I’m just gonna keep going. XD

Go make an account and have fun browsing!

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Welcome Back, to the Stardancer Gallery

I have a gallery again.

It would be so easy to say ‘I can’t tell you what that means to me’ but part of my thing is that I do tell you what things mean to me, all the time, so I’m going to try.

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mcahogarth.org

Let me start by telling you about the original Stardancer gallery, which many of you remember and an even larger number of you weren’t around for. Because in an era before big sites like DeviantArt, when personal websites were still linked by webrings and coded by hand, I had a website that used a database to show visitors not only the latest thing I’d uploaded, but the comments left by dozens of people on that offering.

It’s so hard to explain how crazy that was. There were no Wordpress packages, no visual editors, no gallery plugins. There was no user validation by Google or Apple, no social media, no expectation of interaction or community. Everything had to be coded by hand and installed by someone who wasn’t afraid of a UNIX command line. And from 1999 until mid-2012, the Stardancer gallery served, on average, 5 pieces of art a week, with over 175,000 words of commentary from me, for thirteen years, and those pieces accrued between 5 to 40 comments from visitors. When it finally went down, there were 2906 distinct pieces of art in the database, and of those 253 had multiple versions—I uploaded them as I worked on them with commentary on each stage. Some of those pieces had 9-10+ stages where you could watch me wrestling with them (complete with titles like “OMG Ugly Stage” and “needs a background”).

For context, 175,000 words is probably about 700 tightly-packed paperback pages. That’s how much commentary I wrote. And that’s not including 1993 keywords and 60 projects I was tagging everything with.

I wanted that gallery so I could share my art with all of you. But it was also functioning as an organizational layer for me. When I was trying to remember a story, a character name, a forgotten piece of art I wanted to finish, I would search my own gallery. It was my backup brain, and my sketchbook index, and it kept me focused. It even had basic project management tools, since each of those 60 projects had a status: complete, in progress, ongoing, on hold, trunked.

The sunsetting of the original site was inevitable. You can’t run software with visions of enterprise-level functionality on a friend’s personal computer. But I was in the very unusual position of having started out with a system custom-built for my idiosyncrasies, and nothing on the market was good enough. I kept poking and not loving any of my choices. Host all my artwork on some aggregate gallery site or shoehorn it into a cookie-cutter Content Management System? No thank you. So I never replaced Stardancer, and for fourteen years, I’ve been running without that second-brain infrastructure.

And now, I have it again.

Now I can think ‘what was that thing I said about that one character in that one sketchbook?’ and search and find it. I can mutter, “Where is all the Ai-Naidari language work” and pull up the notebook. I can think ‘Didn’t I want to finish that picture of the dala fox? What sketchbook is that in?’ and I know.

I know!

And unlike the first gallery, this one can have everything in every sketchbook. Because I streamlined the parts I hate (editing, watermarking, uploading, making thumbnails, importing into the database) and left myself only the parts I enjoy (writing comments and tagging). And while some of the original Stardancer’s features aren’t online yet, like multiple versions of the same image, they’re designed and in the queue… and this version can have cool new features, like user favorites, and requests from users who love something and want me to finish it.

I’m so forgetful. I keep trying to explain to people how much of a cheesecloth my brain is with just about everything. Without rigorous documentation, lists, and notebooks, I would be completely useless. Art is one of those places I document my thoughts and keep myself pointed in the right direction. The fourteen years I didn’t have a gallery are literally gone in my brain, artistically. I have to dig up the physical books and thumb through them to remember anything about them. So I think you can imagine my relief that this is now available… not just for you to enjoy. But for my sake, to keep myself from vanishing because I am no longer observing myself.

Right now the new gallery has 2644 images across the 42 sketchbooks (and one unfinished language notebook) I’ve scanned and uploaded… of the nearly 200 I have. I’m only just getting started. I am crazy excited, I can’t even tell you.

I have a gallery again.

I have a gallery again!

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mcahogarth.org

Anyway, this is the part where I talk about how you can enjoy the gallery:

Every subscription and purchase helps keep the gallery open and supports our free users, so thank you so much for chipping in!

What can I say? Welcome home, my friends. Welcome back!

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Early Access is Now Live! Come Join Us on Ke Bakil!
Make your own Jokka clan and watch it thrive!

Good news, patrons! The beta for the JOKKA! game is now open! You, as paying patrons, now have early access!

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